In the international world, we have all likely flown on an airplane, and we have all heard the famous words, “Put your own mask on before placing it on another.” In other words, save yourself before attempting to save another. Inevitably as the school year winds down, many of us look within and begin to internally process the memories, the highs and the low points that come with the natural ebb and flow of a year. My internal reflection leads me back to one of my two core values, which I don around my neck: Be Me. I always tell people that what you see is what you get, and that means acting with Integrity (my other core value around my neck), and authenticity. With BE ME as my core value, I have used this year to take some steps back, even in salary, and practice what I would always tell my teachers NOT to do: Don’t Be a Martyr.
I have realized I am more than my job, more than the money it earns. Have there been hardships along the way? Yes, of course. Do I sometimes regret the decisions I made to give up for me rather than keep a high profile job and turn down other Administrative roles to keep up with financial security? Yes, absolutely. However, I would be making an incredible mistake if I didn’t include in my reflection just how much I lost in time, health, energy, and quality relationships and partnerships by putting my job first instead of being Happy, Healthy and Whole. That is what I always want for my teachers, staff, scholars, and families after all, except I was not living my own life that way.
So I stepped back, reinvested that time and energy in myself with less people around me I knew, just so I could get back to my core value of being me. Now, I am having more fun, yes, with less, and I leave work on time. I leave work at work, and do my best to enter my home environment or the pavement where I run, or the soccer field, to be present and remember my boundaries I set for myself while doing the work on me.
Everyday we are auditioning for our jobs. Every day we have made even the tiniest impacts on those we serve and join in partnership to celebrate and tackle the difficult challenges that aren’t getting any easier. Because our work is cyclical in nature, we get to have some hard start and stop points in the school year, and that is why it is even more imperative that when we know we can roll over unfinished business to the next day and next school year, we take stock in who we are. We are not our jobs, no matter how much they pay us and bring us a sense of motivation. Our work does not define all
of us, our identity. It is okay and just to have some boundaries and to set the same start and stop points that are drawn out for us in a school calendar, broken down into certain increments.
Losing some sense of self and especially focus during the Pandemic hit me hard, and it forced me to turn inward and make some tough decisions about the type of Leader and Educator I set out to be. In order to be that Leader, I made the decision that I would not fall trap anymore to pressures to give more than what my body, mind, spirit and soul can and should give to a job where I know that with my strengths, I will be okay and I will be able to see and live My WHY: Impact Through Connections.
Perhaps there is something you noticed this year in yourself that you can identify with being a martyr for the work and/or the people, the demands placed on you to do it all and do it all well. Is it worth it five, ten, fifteen years down the road to say you did it all,or is making some clear boundaries now going to help you live happier, healthier and more whole for yourself, and for those who depend on you daily to give them the very best for success?
Author : Sharin Tebo
Sharin Tebo, M.Ed., is a PK-12 Educational Professional with 20 years experience serving scholars, teachers, staff and families as a Spanish teacher, Instructional Technology Coordinator, IT Director, Curriculum Coordinator, MS Associate Principal, Middle School Principal and High School Principal
